In Loving Memory of Alfonso, my brother....

On November 6th. 2009 my brother Alfonso was tragically murdered at the age of 39. Since then my life has been turned upside down and the world around me has become obscure. To lose a loved one is one thing, but to have them taken away from you so abruptly is another and words cannot begin to describe the pain and emotions that my family and I have felt over the past 38 days.

While I am no stranger to death having lost my mother 5 years ago to Cancer, I never imagined I'd lose a sibling this way. I was always that person who watched the news and felt empathy for others who lost their loved ones through violent acts of crime and now I find myself being "that person". In the days following my brother's death I received several calls from people who had caught word of his tragic passing via the news and couldn't believe that this had really happened to him and to our family. I too shared in their disbelief and I didn't want to come to terms with his death.....till now.

I've thought long and hard over the past few days as to whether or not I wanted to share this story on my blog and with my readers. After much contemplation I realized my blog is an outlet, a way for me to connect with others through stories, images and fun tidbits. While this particular story is a sad one, it's what makes me human. I can no longer hide underneath my sheets and pretend as if this hasn't happened to me, because it has and I've recently come to terms with that, as hard as it may be. I don't wish this type of pain upon anyone, so while I am sure you've heard this many times before; cherish each day with your family, friends, and loved ones because tomorrow is never promised. We are all currently living on borrowed time and we need to ensure that we make the most of our time here on earth. Live your life to the fullest, laugh more, tell your mother, father, brother, sister or friend that you love them, help those less fortunate than you and always, always be grateful for what you have, whether it's a little or a lot.

I had the opportunity to see my brother one last time before he was cremated and I fell short for words at the time, so here are a few words that I wanted to express to my brother Alfonso:

"I used to think that being your baby sister was the worse thing in the world, now I realize it was a blessing because you and Jeff took care of me. Now I am left with only one brother, when there was two, and the memories we shared are gone but not forgotten. I want to thank you for loving me, even if you had a hard time showing it. I want to thank you for loving my daughter whole heartedly and showing her a side of you that many of us never had the pleasure of knowing. While I can't even begin to think about life without you, know that with each day that passes I will do my best to preserve your memory. Everyone may have known you for who you were on the exterior but I knew you for what you were on the interior. I love you Alfonso and I will continue to Celebrate Life in your memory."

Your baby sis,
Michi